Genie in Japan

Ah. This is the Life.

The longer I’m away from school, the more and more I realize how much I miss being in the classroom, learning, reading, being challenged and stretched in all those ways that being a student can.

I think it stems from the exhaustion of being an “adult.”  And also from being reminded everyday that truly, I know absolutely nothing about life.

I want to run back home and cry to my mommy, go back to college life where I have the cushion of being irresponsible and carefree.  Outside of the college campus, deadlines are real, work is serious, and there’s little room for excuses.  And I don’t even have a real job.

I’m sure lots of college graduates who are in the working world now have a lot of the same sentiments—the difference with me is, I really get to go back, get a second chance to savor every moment slowly and thoughtfully.

And thus my decision to stay at UCLA a full four-years instead of the abbreviated three that I had previously intended. I don’t think I’ll ever again have the time, the energy, the opportunities, the freedom to be/do what I can as an undergraduate student.  I think being in Japan accentuates the feeling of “there’s not enough time”—having just four, short, busy months left here; seeing the stark contrast of colorful and lively college students against hundreds of people in the same black suits running in and out of trains, who were just a few months ago those same vibrant individuals.

Only God can make my every moment count for something greater than myself.

“Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.”

-Isaiah 40:30-31