About a week ago my friend Nathan asked me to accompany him to the cell phone shop where he needed to ask about getting his phone fixed.  I said I’m sure he didn’t need my help interpreting since his business Japanese is much better than mine–but nevertheless, he wanted me to tag along for “moral support.”

This I understand, because being a foreigner in Japan and having to talk to official people about official things can make you feel really, really small no matter how good your Japanese is.

We arrive at the shop where we are promptly greeted by the staff, are seated in a waiting area, and then proceed to the service desk.  Our specialist asks question after question about the circumstances of the broken cell phone, but something is really, really wrong with this picture: Mr. Cellphone Man isn’t talking to Nathan, the customer—he’s talking to me!

Once I realize this, I change my posture to face Nathan, hinting to the service guy “HE’S the customer, NOT ME!” but the dude just doesn’t get it.  It started to get frustrating, so I even gestured with my hand towards Nathan, indicating again that HE is the ogayku-san.

Well, after 30 minutes of this nonsense, we’re done and it’s time to go home.  But Nathan decides to have a little fun—he says to the service guy, “You know, we’re both foreign English teachers.  She’s Korean　(not Japanese), by the way.”  And the dude’s face just drops and his eyeballs are nearly popping out of his head.

Boy, is he embarrassed.  Now he’s trembling and stuttering as he sends us off in his awkward I’m-Japanese-And-I-Just-Spoke-To-Two-Foreigners manner.

I scolded Nathan for breaking Mr. Cellphone Man’s composure.  But he said he asked me to come along not for his own moral support, but for the moral support of the staff–it’s just easier for them to deal with “Japanese” customers.

When will “The Foreigner” stop being a novelty in Japan???

salaryman